That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
