Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
