Don't you send me to vm
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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