so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
