wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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