my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
