were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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