ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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