Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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