the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
where am i from again
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
