Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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