Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
