Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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