I puked a lego.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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