Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
