I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
