I'm really into asian looking animals
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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