but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
