So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
