well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
