you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
