Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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