Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I am available for nakedness
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
