so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
