he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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