Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
