First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
