my being single is dangerous.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
