She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
