I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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