I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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