We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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