you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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