That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
