Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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