i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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