sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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