Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
