brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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