So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
