sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
