Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
