That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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