I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
