he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
