P.S. I can't hear my feet
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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