After last night, I could never be a politician.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You're a waste of cheezeits
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
