My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
