You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
