I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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